Don't cock up your health

Embarrassment is killing us, according to new research for high street chain, Lloyds Pharmacy.

The research shows that as many as 42% of men have delayed a visit to the doctor’s because of a reluctance to discuss their wedding tackle. One in ten blokes wouldn’t go at all if they had a problem with their privates. This shyness is potentially deadly.

Erection problems, for example, can be a symptom of serious underlying health problems including diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol – if left untreated these can kill.

Part of the problem is a lack of vocabulary. Men just don’t know what to call their meat and two veg in front of a doctor. A significant proportion (29%) prefer to use euphemisms such as ‘nether regions’, ‘downstairs’ and ‘down below’.

'Cock' is a fine old English word

It’s the Victorians who are to blame for our embarrassment according to Professor Tony McEnery of the University of Lancaster. ‘Words like cock appear in old and middle English and the evidence is that until relatively recently both men and women were quite happy to use them. There was a moral revolution in the late seventeenth, early eighteenth century and today even academics are embarrassed and there’s always giggling in my lectures.’

But McEnery’s interest in encouraging men to reclaim these words is not purely academic. ‘I got involved in this research because I discovered a couple of members of my family who were too shy to mention their penis to their doctor and one subsequently died.’

Online options

Going to see a real doctor in the surgery has to be the first choice but it’s not always possible. Dr Thom Van Every who works for Lloydspharmacy Online Doctor, who carried out the survey, says: ‘I’ve even come across doctors who are too embarrassed to discuss problems with their privates with another doctor. For some men, an online doctor may be less embarrassing.’

You will need to register to use Lloyd's Online Doctor but some of the services are free including those for erection problems. Other services include screening for sexually transmitted infections by post.

The reluctance to discuss penis problems is part of a wider male reluctance to go to the doctors. ‘Men don’t prioritise a niggling issue but more conditions are treatable than many men think and sometimes those niggles could be a symptom of something more serious,’ concluded Dr Thom Van Every, whose own Dr Thom website has recently been upgraded. A new feature includes the possibility to upload pictures of your genitals for a diagnosis of a particular problem.

Meanwhile, if you're looking for a really good word to describe your dick, how about Professor Tony McEnery's thirteenth century favourite: tallywhacker. 'Hey doc, the old Tally's not quite whacking as it should be.' And one for the future? Tony reckons Banjo 'could catch on'.