Jason: 'Being addicted to porn doesn't mean you're inadequate, sad or a pervert'

In his late twenties Jason McClain realised he was addicted to porn. Now a trained counsellor, he's set up a UK website to help fellow addicts end the compulsion.

I had no interest really in porn before the internet. I went to a fairly strait-laced boys school so it was passed round as a bit of a currency there. I guess that gave porn a certain mystique. But I never used it after I left school and I wasn't obsessed with sex.

Over the years I've been running my site Porn Game Over, I've spoken to dozens of other porn addicts and I think this is fairly typical - the underlying drive that leads to excessive porn use is not really related to your level of sexual interest or your sexuality.

When I got hooked, I was in a relationship that wasn't going anywhere and was frustrated with my career in IT. I was bored and web savvy. Internet porn was accessible, distracting and appealing.

It was easy to pass the time looking at it. Two hours could in a flash. You're almost in a trance, lost in looking. sexual stimulation is an element. It was for me. But there are many addicts for whom it goes beyond this.

Some men spend all day looking and don't masturbate at all.

In fact, they don't want to come as they don't want to break the spell. In a way, porn is distraction from sexual arousal not a way to get it. Stimulation is prolonged; release is avoided. It's a form of procrastination.

Of course, some addicts have addictive personalities but in my experience, most porn addicts seem to be trying avoid or escape something - relationship problems, work problems. They're trying to numb a pain. Although there's no physiological addiction to porn as there is to say drugs, the trance like state you get into does release soothing brain chemicals that can become addictive.

I'm not on a crusade against porn. I believe men can use porn safely.

Looking at porn for half an hour, masturbating and that's it - what I'm talking about here with addiction is something different.

But there are warning signs of when you're slipping from one type of use to the other. (Click here for the warning signs)

We can argue about the morality of the porn industry and its effects on individuals and society. There are certainly some messages in porn that I personally don't like. Clearly we also need restrictions on extreme material and to ensure that both customers of and workers in the porn industry are not exploited.

But porn needs to be put in context. There's a lot of misunderstanding. The mystique around it that I discovered as a schoolboy needs to be removed.

Sex education at school needs to address porn. We need awareness of the dangers of addiction but to remove the stigma attached to talking about it.

When I realised that I was spending too much time looking at porn, I did something which is quite rare I think. I talked to my friends about it. A couple of them said they felt the same thing. Immediately I knew I wasn't alone and I wasn't weird.

I did some research into addiction in general and porn addiction in particularly. I had some counselling which was very useful. And I put together a plan which involved replacing the time I was spending on porn with more positive things. I changed career and ended the relationship (although I'm not saying everyone has to do that.)

The key thing is motivation to change. You need to understand that you have developed this problem for a reason not because you're bad. It doesn't reflect who you are and you can change.

You need to deal with the guilt and shame. Behind every bad habit there's usually some good intention. You're not a inadequate, sad or a pervert. We're self-destructive for a reason. It's important to try to identify what is and address it directly. You need to make practical changes. Smokers avoid situations where they might be tempted to smoke. You can avoid solo surfing. It's about recognising you have choices and giving yourself options.

It's also important to recognise that like the smoker, you may well relapse but that doesn't mean you're back to square one. You've got all the learning that you've picked up on the way to help you as you give up again.

Jason's website is PornGameOver.