WANTED: For crimes against his own health

Which man would you put in the dock charged with crimes against his own health? This is your chance to choose.

This year during Men's Health Week man goes on trail charged with grievous bodily harm against himself.

Is man guilty of exposing himself to heart disease, respiratory disease and other preventable conditions that will see the average man die five years earlier than the average woman.
Or is something else to blame? Genes? The way men are brought up? The way health care services are provided? Or something else?

The inquisition in the MHF court-room will be led by MHF president Dr Ian Banks. The judge will be Professor Dame Carol Black, National Director for Health and Work. Vote now or read about the 'candidates' below.

So which man should be up in the dock?

We've chosen ten fictitious men because real ones might sue! Which of these men should we take into custody?

James Bond - 200 a day fag habit, excessive drinking and frequent unprotected sex. Licensed to kill (himself).

Spiderman - dangerously tight, sperm-suffocating, non-breathable clothing. Living a lie with his partner which is a recipe for disaster even when she is Kirsten Dunst

David Brent - hyperactive, workaholic with no self-awareness and an unhealthy attitude to colleagues: 'If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.'

Indiana Jones - excessive risk-taking in a constant search for something he can never find, joint-care is shocking for a man of his age

Inspector Morse - what with the boozing, the getting hung -up on spelling and the almost Hitlerian obsession with Wagner, Morse had more baggage than Heathrow and died prematurely of untreated diabetes.

Sherlock Holmes - several anti-social habits including pipe-smoking, morphine, cocaine and violin-playing - plus nobody likes a smart-arse

Phil Mitchell - ex-alcoholic (!) with a seemingly insatiable thirst for trouble and barmaids. (At least he can't be accused of being a smart-arse.)

Rocky - classic case of middle-aged man who just can't resist trying to recreate youthful glories (Rocky we mean - not his creator, of course)

Jim Royle - dangerously sedentary life-style and strained finger from excess use of TV remote control. Serious bowel problems which, unlike most men, he is at least prepared to talk about judging by his constant references to 'my arse!'

Homer Simpson - yellow skin tone suggests serious jaundice - presumably the result of too much Duff beer. Counselled his son Bart against exercise with the advice: 'when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.'