A check-up saved my arse

Mark Davies put it down to a bit of an arse problem. It turned out to be a bit of bowel cancer, the third most common cancer in the UK where 1,000 people are diagnosed every single day. Mark was just 31.  

Have you ever had, how can I put this… a bit of a dodgy arse? Maybe a bit of food poisoning or a moody take-away? Have you ever had the odd stomach cramp? Trapped wind perhaps or maybe the problem has been that the wind was far from being trapped (if you know what I mean)?

Of course you have; as have we all, and thought nothing of it, right? I know that I have on several occasions. So, when I got a bit of gastric trouble back in the summer of 2003 at the age of just 31, I thought that it was the less than perfect take-away that had set me off the night before; or at worst a stomach ulcer gained through over-working, poor diet and stress.

You can imagine the surprise I got when, after having this bit of a dodgy stomach, and to be fair, quite a bad case of stinging ring (post Singapore noodles) investigated, I was told that I had cancer of the colon.

At the time of this bombshell I was the owner of a small sales company, raising money for charities. I was working ten to twelve hours a day; I would invariably try to get to the pub for a couple of beers most nights.

The closest I got to fruit and veg was extra salad on my kebab.

I was 31, a little overweight, but not huge, so didn't worry about things like being uber-healthy and fit. Cancer didn't even register upon my consciousness. I did however, have quite bad stomach ache that morning, and an occasional little bit of blood spotting on the loo roll, but in all reality, I was actually throwing a sickie, so after popping to the GP, I thought nothing of it.

My GP sent me to a specialist with a very long index finger, which was a bit of shock too, and then they sent me for a colonoscopy (a type of arsecam) and CT scan — all whilst I still had no idea there was anything wrong with me. Less than two months after going to see my local GP, (post Singapore noodles, I was sat in front of three worried looking doctors being told that I had cancer of the colorectal region and that I would have to have my entire arse removed — not good!

Being told that I had cancer was quite a surreal experience for me. The only experience that I'd had of that situation was via the cancer ads on TV and to be honest I never gave them a second thought, even though it is predicted that 1 in 3 of us would get some form of the disease.

Even being told wasn't an issue for me: I just said, 'Ok, so what do we do about it?' I never believed I was going to die; it was just another thing to get on and deal with as far as I was concerned, and moaning wasn't going to change the situation.

But being told that I was going to have my bum removed was something that I had an issue with!

My family and girlfriend were unbelievable. They didn't panic, they just followed my lead and if I was up they'd be too, and if I was down they'd let me be.

Eventually another treatment presented itself via a friend of my Mum, which would not only save my life but my arse as well, which was nice. At the time it was a new surgical treatment called Transanal Endoscopic Microsurgery (TEM) and a direct form of radiotherapy called Papillon.

I went through two months of continuous, traditional, wide beam radiotherapy and chemotherapy before I could even qualify for the treatments. I suffered everything from mouth ulcers and blood blisters on my hands and feet, through to the skin on my entire lower regions being burnt black and cracking. Only then could I receive the TEM and Papillon treatments due to my original tumour being in a tricky position, right on the edge of the sphincter muscle, and being well developed.

I was given just over 12 months to live if I did nothing.

The treatment and operation were both a success thanks to the fast thinking and acting members of hospitals both in London and the North West. They worked together, treating me both with conventional and cutting-edge treatments to make sure that my bum and I survived. Now four years after being operated on I am clear, and aside from the fact that I do fart quite a lot (or at least say I've got an excuse), I'm completely fine.

The only advice I could give to anyone who is at all worried about themselves or a friend or family member is that 'it is better to check and be wrong than not check and be dead!' 

• More about bowel problems on malehealth.
• Our DIY home MOT test will help.
• Bowel Cancer UK - thanks to them for their help with this article.
• Mark's own website including details of his book Saving My Arse.
• Beating Bowel Cancer