The Smart Alec's Guide to Pigging Out at Christmas 

Of course, malehealth does not advocate overeating at any time of the year. However, should you be in need of an excuse to justify another turkey leg or mince pie, here's how to wangle an extra helping from your mum this festive season.

She says: 'Save the rest of the turkey for sandwiches.'

You say: 'But it'll keep my prostate healthy.'

Roast turkey's a good source of zinc (100g contains about half your daily requirement), a mineral with an important role in maintaining normal prostate size.

She says: 'More sprouts will only give you wind.'

You say: 'But they'll stop me having a heart attack.'

An extra portion of Brussels will boost your intake of folic acid, a vitamin that controls the blood level of a artery-damaging amino acid called homocysteine.

She says: 'How much chestnut stuffing can a person eat?'

You say: 'Do you want me to go blind?'

Chestnuts are a good source of vitamin E. This can help protect you against cataracts, according to UK, Canadian and Finnish research.

She says: 'You don't need any more cranberry sauce on that.'

You say: 'It'll keep my urine flowing nicely.'

Cranberries help prevent infection-causing bacteria sticking to the urinary tract. They also increase your immunity against a range of fungal and viral infections.

She says: 'You'll burst if you eat more Christmas pudding.'

You say: 'It'll help my haemorrhoids.'

This pud contains loads of dried fruit, full of bum-relaxing fibre.

She says: 'Leave some Brazils for grandma.'

You say: 'But they're good for my sperm.'

These nuts are a brilliant source of selenium, a mineral which helps sperm swim correctly. The average selenium intake in Britain is 34 micrograms a day, well below the officially recommended level of 75 micrograms a day for men.

She says: 'Don't pig out on the chocolate mints.'

You say: 'They'll help make me nicer to your great-aunt.'

Chocolate boosts feel-good chemicals in the brain and contains stimulants (caffeine and theobromine) which should help keep you awake during the third round of Trivial Pursuit. The mint should also make you better company by relieving your flatulence.

She says: 'If you eat any more figs you'll be spending all night on the toilet.'

You say: 'They help my body maintain a healthy balance.'

Herbalists reckon figs have an alkalising effect on the body, helping to counteract the acidic foods that dominate western diets. Excess acidity can increase the risk of colds, breathing problems and even kidney disease.

She says: 'Turkish Delight will only make you fat.'

You say: 'Feeling guilty about what I eat is worse for my health.'

Enjoying what you eat can boost a sense of wellbeing that increases immunity and lowers stress levels; feeling guilty, however, has the opposite effect.

This article is provided for information only - malehealth takes no responsibility for the results of your over-indulgence!