Tony: ‘I thought I was so cool but inside I was just falling apart’

Tony graduated two years ago but he still remembers his first few months at university.

‘It was a nightmare. Back home everybody knew me because I was a DJ. At university I was just the same as everyone else and I couldn’t handle that. I think I thought I was special. I couldn’t understand why everyone didn’t want a piece of me. I convinced myself that everybody in my hall was a dead head and spent hours in my room just remixing the same records over and over or working out with my weights. I was also smoking a lot and seemed to have a permanent cold. Looking back I effectively put myself in prison - just going out for classes and food.

The turning point was when I walked down a corridor and someone was playing some classy music. I didn’t take much notice at first but I found that I kept walking back the same way from the dining hall so I’d hear what this guy was playing. One day he was playing this Bob Marley track that I liked but didn’t know the title of. I knocked on his door to ask him. I remember it vividly. I feel sick just thinking about it. I’m six foot two and fifteen stone but I was shaking like a little kid, sweating. He obviously thought I was a bit weird but he asked me in for a coffee, anyway. I realise now that he was as lonely as I was. Once we started talking I just couldn’t shut up. Not surprising, really. I’d hardly said a word to anyone for weeks. We swapped a couple of mix tapes and on the Saturday night we went to a gig at the student’s union. He introduced me to a girl called Sheila who he’d borrowed the Bob Marley CD off in the first place.

I’m not saying it was breezy after that but life did get easier. There was a little DJ network on the campus which we got in with and it was about that time I realised that I wasn’t the greatest DJ in the world either so that was tough too. You just have to go through it.

I don’t see Ant or Sheila anymore but I did make some the best friends of my life at uni. I wonder what happened to Sheila, though. She could really sing.’