Sex: easier to do it than discuss it

The country with the highest-rate of unwanted pregnancy in Europe is having a condom crisis. One in three Brits say they are too shy to talk about the things. And, according to a new survey, the most tongue-tied are not teens and twentysomethings but men in their 30s and 40s.

The fpa survey published ahead of sexual health week this week, also found that many people come to regret not reaching for a rubber. Again one in three of adults surveyed said they wished they'd used a condom on at least one occasion in the past. Sound familiar?

With sexually transmitted infections like herpes and chlamydia up, Genevieve Clark of the Terrence Higgins Trust put it bluntly: 'People still find it easier to have sex than talk about it.'

Anne Weyman, chief executive of the FPA, said: 'We have to ask why in the 21st Century when sex is so widely portrayed in British culture, talking about using condoms is still embarrassing.'

Launching the fpa's pillow talk campaign, she told the BBC that people in their 30s, 40s and 50s, who might be supremely confident talking about everything else in their lives, still struggled at the thought of talking about condoms.

'Thirty-somethings are a forgotten generation. They received little sex and relationships education at school but grew up in an increasingly sexualised society.

'They've had to find the confidence themselves to talk about condoms and learn the hard way.

'It's not surprising that people can feel it's easier not to use a condom than put themselves through the torture of talking about a subject they feel deeply uncomfortable about,' she said.

The fpa have produced some good advice for those who are embarrassed to raise the slippery subject: practise.

• Practise what you'll say to bring the topic up - and do it before you reach the bedroom.
• If you don't like using condoms, practise putting them on and ejaculating into them at home. This really is a problem that's all in the mind. Condoms don't affect sexual performance — in fact, they may prolong it.
• Some women don't like condoms as they can irritate the vagina. This can be overcome with a little lubricant (not oil-based as this can split latex condoms). In the rare case of latex allergy or overwhelming urge to use your favourite oli-based lubricant, use polyurethene condoms
• Too embarrased to buy condoms? Buy them online.

If you are one of the one in three who find condoms awkward, the answer are all here on malehealth: Condoms and how to use them.