The first day of the rest of your life

New year's resolutions? Waste of time or a good opportunity to make a change without it being a big deal. Malehealth has heard them all. Here are some ideas that might help with six of the most popular resolutions.

MONTY: I'm giving up smoking

You've heard it all before. I've heard it all before. But maybe this time I can make it. A friend has mine in Edinburgh has been off for three months now using nicotine chewing gum so I might give that a go. But then I know that Allen Carr bloke says you shouldn't use any crutches because that makes you feel like you're making a sacrifice. I suppose it's about finding what works for you.

I spend over £5 every day on smoking. By the time the summer comes, I'll be nearly a grand to the good if I pack up on 1 January. I'll also be able to cope with the ban without having to run outside all the time like a twat with no willpower. My mate in Scotland says the ban helped him pack in. It can't be good for you in this weather with all the flu around - having to go outside in sub-zero temperatures has got me thinking about whether or not I really needed that fag.

Useful links for MONTY:

Here's the smoking link on malehealth

DAVE: I'm going to get active

I guess if someone tells you they're going to get active, you think they're talking about exercise. I'm not. I'm talking about getting politically active.

Politics is a bit of a dirty word these days. Most of us like to pretend we're above it but the truth is we're not. Wars, famine and the fact that the planet is going to hell in a handcart are all the result of politics, nothing more, nothing less.

On the face of it our democracy is in a state. We have a leader who can take us to war on the basis of a lie and, because of the absurdities of our electoral system, still be elected prime minister afterwards. And don't get me started on the current coalition! It's a major problem in democracies that you wind up with political parties who all say the same thing and who look no further ahead than the next election. But the alternatives to democracy are even worse. And the advantage of the system is that you can, by and large, say what you think. I'm going to do just that.

What's that got to do with health? Because when I see injustice and unfairness and sheer incompetence among our leaders that makes me angry. And feeling I can't do anything about it makes me angrier still and, in my view, unexpressed anger is bad for your health.

Useful links for DAVE

www.365act.com — based on a book of the same name, plenty of ideas for action
www.newint.com - website of the activist's favourite non-aligned magazine
www.corporatewatch.org.uk - best starting point if your interest is corporate rather than political malevolence.
www.indymedia.org.uk - alternative non-commercial takes on all the top stories
Wikipedia — this Wikipedia entry includes a list of all the different types of activism from boycotts to strikes to internet activism

JON: I'm cutting down on drink

Why am I cutting down on drink rather than giving up all together? Because I think I can. We all have a different relationship with alcohol and it affects us in different ways. Some people simply can't handle it physically. Others become dependent on it in order to function is certain situations. Only you know whether you need to give up for good or whether you can cut down.

You can find out the same way I did by deciding to give up drink for a month. The more difficult you find this, the more you need to think about stopping altogether. I gave up drink for January last year and it was fine.

But I since I started again, I still sometimes go too far and that's what I want to stop. I'm not a kid anymore. I could also do with keeping the weight down.

Useful links for JON

Here's the alcohol link on malehealth.

TRISTRAM: I want to stop accumulating time off in lieu

We're bonkers in this country. We work the longest hours in Europe and we think we're so smart that we can pick up our emails on the run or work while we're on the train. I can't believe that that's good for you.

I read a quote on malehealth from Professor Cary Cooper who is head of organisation psychology at Lancaster University Management School in which he said: "Work 35-40 hours a week for 50 years and you're probably going to be all right. Go consistently over 41 hours a week and you will damage your health and reduce your working life". That makes good sense to me.

I reckon that I've got about 130 days a year to myself. There's 104 week-end days (52x2). there are 8 bank holidays and then I get four weeks annual leave — 132 days total. The daft thing is that I'm owed another 25 days of TOIL by my employer which I'm never going to take as I'm too busy. Take that off my free days and that puts me nearer 100 days and that's why I never seem to get a decent holiday — I'm talking about time here not about going to some expensive island — and why I don't spend enough time with my family and friends.

It's got to change. I'm lucky in a way. if it was paid overtime it might be harder to say no to.

Useful links for TRISTRAM:

Here's the work link on malehealth.
Plus everything you wanted to know about stress but were too busy to ask.

TC: I want to improve my sex life

I read a survey saying that 70% of women would rather read a good book for 20 minutes than have sex. That bloody Harry Potter has a lot to answer for. Yet, in a different survey of 65 year olds, 70% said that if they could turn back the clock they'd spend more time making love. There's a bit of a contradiction there, don't you think?

My partner and I don't have sex as often as I'd like I must admit but short of setting light to all her books what can I do about it? I know blokes who go running off with younger women but I'm not sure that that really helps. It destroys the relationship with your long-term partner and eventually you wind up feeling about 90 compared to the new woman and all her young virile male friends.

My solution has been pornography. But I can't pretend that it's just an alternative to the real thing. Even when my partner was more interested in sex I was still using pornography just as I had as a teenager. I suppose it's about control, sex on demand and feeling no obligation to satisfy anyone else. But you feel disgusted with your self afterwards.

It's not just the moral aspect of it, really — although everyone knows porn is a bit like prostitution in that most women involved are being exploited. I can't help thinking all that porn must also eventually affect your view of women.

We all know what we need to do about sexual problems and that's talk to our partners but I don't know where to begin really. Knocking the porn on the head would be a good start and something I can do on my own.

Useful links for TC

There are good practical reasons for TC to quit porn too. Experts now reckon they can explain why masturbation is not as enjoyable as the real thing. After orgasm, a hormone called prolactin is released which creates the feeling of sexual satisfaction. After orgasm from sexual intercourse, the increase in levels of the hormone prolactin in the blood is 400% higher in both men and women compared with after orgasm from masturbation. (Since elevated levels of prolactin have been linked to erectile dysfunction, this may also explain why most men need a recovery period after sex.)

Here's the sexual health link on malehealth.
Here's the sexual problems link on malehealth.

ERROL: I want to take more exercise

But how do you do that? Work is too far away for me to walk. the shops are too far away for me to walk. Even the nearest pub is too far away. I can't afford a gym and let's face it, it would probably be money down the drain anyway.

So I had a good think and good read about the various options. I've decided on swimming because I'm a bit overweight and I was worried that jogging would put too much strain on my joints. Swimming doesn't do that. Also, obviously, most of you is underwater so there's not so much pressure to look good as there are with other sports and in the gym.

Swimming is also cheap. There's a pool near where I work and I can go in the lunch hour or after work.

It's easy to measure your improvement with swimming. The number of lengths, the time in which you can swim them. Time to think too. Apparently you can even get an underwater iPod these days.